Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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