She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
