He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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