he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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