to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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