If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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