i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
