I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
