her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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