I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Never underestimate the power of titties
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
