well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
