Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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