Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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