dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
cat food counts as protein by the way
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
