He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The power of my boobs compel you
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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