I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
