My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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