She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
