Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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