im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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