Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
