I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
