just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
