so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize