He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
