Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize