Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My dad is sitting where you rode me
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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