I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
