Me. At least after what I've been through.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
