Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
