I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
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