that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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