So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
