We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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