You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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