I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
