So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???