Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT