i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.