Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
