One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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