Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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