She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
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Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
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He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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