i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We are all done wearing pants today
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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