I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
