I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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