There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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