how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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