i'm lost and i look like a hooker
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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