come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
this hospital has no fireball
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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