i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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