First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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