no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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