Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I wish i was in the wii world.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
