I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize