I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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