i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
