garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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