Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
