Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
