But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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