Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize