I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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