just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
