Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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