There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
