$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
