its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
