if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
