I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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