She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
