Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
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Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
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I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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