Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I had to cum in my sink.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
