I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i need some magic done to my vagina
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
